Birdland Yoga posted on March 23, 2009
As someone who works in the wellness industry, who also seeks to lead a spiritual life, there are two main battles I seem to face on a regular basis.
1) How can I organize my need to earn a living with my desire to help people, without compromising my integrity?
2) How can I observe without judging?
On point #1, it is so difficult for me to maintain a dividing line between charging for services as an instructor (in order to make a living) and offering free classes and discounts to everyone who needs it (which, these days, is almost everyone). I feel oddly guilty about charging a fee to help people, while at the same time knowing that this is my calling.
Therefore, how do I balance financially taking care of Self while still being there for others?
On point #2, I try my best on a daily basis to love unconditionally, and yet I hear things in my dialog that I don't like. These are the, "They're a great person, but--" or "I don't want to say anything negative, but--" For me, the challenge here is to be able to distinguish between an honest observation and passing judgment. If I am recognizing that someone is "abrasive" but choosing to like them anyway, am I loving unconditionally, or have I now just labeled them with the "Danielle Stamp" of assessment?
I am greatly interested in hearing how others combat these issues in their daily lives.
Jerry Jordan | Monday, March 23, 2009 |
Great post, Danielle. And a great topic for discussion too. It's always difficult to place a dollar value on something as intangible as better health, inner peace, more loving relationships or just feeling good. Isn't it odd that the things that actually have the greatest value are the very things we tend to disregard the most? At least until something goes wrong.
Yes, we would all love to be independently wealthy so we could do what we do without compromising the "purity" of our good intentions. But truthfully, there is nothing about money has the power to do that. It is totally neutral. Only our thoughts about it ( or anything for that matter) that give it any meaning whatsoever. And that's where the judgment comes in.
We are judgment machines. We do it constantly so it is a very hard habit to break. If not impossible. Without judgment, we wouldn't be able to cross the street. I know that's not necessarily the kind of judgment you're talking about but the point I'm making is about how it is hard wired into our system.
My suggestion would be to forgive not only the person you might be tempted to judge but also yourself (which is a natural extension of forgiving another person). All human is communication is one of two things: Either an expression of love or a call for love. When you look at it from that perspective it makes it much easier.
Angie | Tuesday, March 24, 2009 |
Beautiful response Jerry and great fodder for discussion Danielle. So many of us that find our professional expression through healing, growth and development or any form of spiritual practice seem to struggle with financial reward, or sometimes, even charging for our services at all. I agree with Jerry that money, in and of itself, is neutral -- therefore not inherently good OR evil. Money is merely an exchange of energy. One way to consider viewing your participation in the flow is to look at all the people, services and organizations that you are able to bless with the monies you receive. Without you in the loop of energy exchange, there would be a missing indeed...
Empowerment Inc. | Thursday, March 26, 2009 |
Wow, good topic to get the viewpoints rolling huh.
For me its understanding which self I’m exploring the viewpoint from. Is it from the one that’s here being human or is from the one that’s here having a human experience? There is a subtle but powerful difference between the two states that generally never gets explored. We take it for granted that this is who we are and this is what we have to stop doing or what we have to get rid of. Being human is always trying to get rid of something or release it, have you noticed that? I am amazed sometimes how the western spiritual indoctrinations that continues to multiply and tell us the way it is, have us trying to get rid of our Ego. Without the Ego, we can’t have a human experience. It’s one of the main players that creates being human.
Being human is the Divine gift that gives us the infinite potentials of experiences for our spirit to learn from and evolve through.
The Spirit isn’t human, but it is the aspect of our consciousness that has the human experience,. Without the cooperation and existence of the physical, low-self body or the mental/Ego mid-self, there aren’t any human experiences to be had. Judgments are a natural part of being human and help, quite often, to determine the choices we make. Our spiritual identities, which are created in the Egos domain, are intentionally manipulative of the infinite power that is in the choices we make. Choice changes the continuous flow of experiences from this outcome to another. The realities we are experiencing right now are the results of the choices we have already made.
Being human is the constant, never ending, react and respond, cause and effect, attract and resist flow of experiences triggered by the interaction of others Being Human. This interaction trigger never stops. For me, this is the simplicity of this beautiful symphony of experiences created from being human that my Spirit gets to dance to. Instead of trying to stop it, just join in the dance.
Maybe this insatiable desire we‘ve been indoctrinated with to get rid of our judgments and Ego or to do something other than the thing we know to be right (even when it’s not what others believe), is the nail in the coffin lid of our evolvement to higher consciousness. The enlightened teachers since the beginning of the human experience on this planet have continually shared the same wisdoms that all the power and answers are within us and that all suffering is created from resistance.
Point #1 :- My suggestion would be to feel what’s right for you. Personal integrity is an alignment of the agreements I make with myself, no one else. Being in integrity is when my actions are in alignment with my agreements. At any time agreements can be re-negotiated. When you set a fee that is in alignment with your integrity, you feel clear and doubt free, no disturbances in your field. Out of integrity is unmistakable. If you decide,(choose) to give free sessions for one person and charge another and that is in integrity for you, then what does it matter what others think. I don’t think it has to be something of open disclosure so behind the scene discretion is in order. The bottom line is that being human thinks and reasons while the Spirit feels. Are you deciding from being human or from having a human experience? I see money as a catalyst rather than an energy exchange. The energy exchange happens between our human selves in the arena of being human. Money is the catalyst for our responses and reactions through our beliefs, judgments, desires and resists about it. We are all having to reevaluate our relationship to money now so maybe we can take the power back that we have been giving it for too long.
Point#2 :- This may be similar really. Here’s a saying for you.
In feel, is the only thing that’s real.
In think, will only make us sink.
Thinking is the domain of the Ego mind or being human. Feeling is the domain of experiencing which is an ability of the Spirit. Intuition comes from Spirit. Reason, judgments and definitions come from the Ego mind.
With regard to Unconditional Love, don’t beat yourself up. According to the calculations of Dr David Hawkins, author of “Power V Force” and “Transcending the Levels of Consciousness” and numerous others, Unconditional Love is a very high order of consciousness. His method of calculating is with Kinesiology so the calculation is sound and his research spans over 20 years now. On a scale of 0 – 200 being below integrity and 1,000 being Enlightenment, Love is at 500 and Unconditional Love sits at 540 and only .4% of the population of the planet lives there. This doesn’t mean we don’t go there, but we may not live there… yet. This is the purpose of evolvement right?
When one of my fellow humans creates a react in my space, it is the aspect of me, created from being human, reflecting back to me that I’m resisting. It’s my opportunity to evolve by ownership of the characteristic (abrasive) which will dissolve the resistance (judgments) and allow me to deliberately choose to experience something else. It’s an ongoing process that doesn’t stop because I want to have a break, which ironically is because I am resisting what I chose to experience. I think the break is when we leave the planet. Remember, being human inherently creates judgments. Judgments help us to make choices. Choices change the flow of experiences. Experiencing is the path of evolvement. Evolvement is our original intention for being human.
I think you answered your own question with the question. If you are asking the question of whether it is unconditional love, than it can’t be. There is no doubt with the state of unconditional love. Maybe the question to ask at that point of choosing to like them anyway is, do I REALLY like them? Am I just trying to pretend to them and me so I don’t have to experience ownership of the reflection?
No rights, no wrongs, just enjoy the dance and move the experiences from a react or response state, (being human) to a deliberate experiencing state (Spiritual evolvement).
Your experience of this reality, reading this blog is created from the choices you’ve already made …remember?
Birdland Yoga | Tuesday, March 31, 2009 |
Thank you, everyone, for the helpful feedback!
It made me consider the idea of money being neutral, and question what value (other than dollars and cents of course), I put on it. I grew up being told that money was the "root of all evil" and yet - particularly now - it's a kind of "life line" for myself and many...You simply can't function in society without it.
I'm reading "Sacred Contracts" by Caroline Myss, and when she refers to the
Sabateur archetype, I can relate to it, because I can't help but wonder if I feel guilty charging a fee because it's like taking someone's lifeline, even though it's a nominal charge, and people are coming willingly. Combine this with the idea that money is bad, and the insecurity of feeling "less than" for not having more of it, and whew! That's a lot of self-sabotaging!
Angie also mentioned circulation, and that's true too. Were it not for a person or two getting a private lesson from me, I wouldn't be able to teach others for free or at a reduced rate.
Interesting about the measurement of love and enlightenment. I vote that I'm at a 525 most of the time, and a 530 some of the time! :)
Lastly, I guess there has to be no apologies for Ego, as it is a part of being human, and to deny it would be to deny our experience. I'm still playing with the "reflection" idea. While I understand that characteristics I dislike in someone else are often in some way evident in my own personality, I don't know that I'm reacting to Self if they've taken it to an uncomfortable level.
I do tend to really like people, no matter what, just as I'll forgive people. The more I accept others, I accept myself as well (which does get back to the reflection idea) But if I'm energetically topsy-turvy in their presence, then I'll simply like them at a distance. :)
That was a giant loop of mind babble on my part!
Thank you again, guys!