Jerry Jordan posted on December 19, 2008
Giving without receiving is impossible. That whole “It’s better to give than to receive” thing is a load of horse hockey based on bad math skills. You can’t have a giver without a receiver. So how can one be better than the other? Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. The giver always receives something and often doesn’t realize it at the time.
As a matter of fact, the greatest gift I ever gave to someone came back to me yearly for many years and then became an even bigger gift for me many years down the road. And to top it all off, it wasn’t even the gift itself that was memorable. I’ll explain.
It was Christmas Eve 1966. I was six years old, strapped for cash, out of time and out of gift ideas for my grandfather. Inspiration took over as I somehow managed to scrape together thirty-two cents in a tiny, beautifully wrapped plastic box with a tag taped on top. The tag read: “To: Gramps, From: Jerry”. On the back of the tag I wrote, “Sorry, but I’m not a big spender.”
Now, I have no idea what happened to the thirty-two cents but that tag----that thing became an annual source of holiday delight for my grandfather. No Christmas morning would have been complete for Gramps without pulling that tag out of his wallet and asking with a sly grin if I was a “big spender” yet. For him, the chuckle he got from that little ritual was the highlight of his holiday.
This joyous Christmas Day tradition continued until the giver became the receiver in August of 2006. That’s when Gramps passed away at the age of ninety-seven. A couple of days after his passing my grandmother found that water damaged (due to their boat capsizing in a Guatemalan lake) faded, tattered, worn tag still in his wallet. He had carried it with him every day for over forty years.
It was astounding and yet gratifying to learn that after all the time and money spent shopping and fretting over what to buy, the gift that meant the most to him was a small piece of paper with a few simple, honest words written on the back.
So thanks, Gramps. Thanks for all the fun and for teaching me that giving without receiving is impossible. I miss you. I’m glad I wasn’t a big spender that year.
Now it’s your turn. What’s the greatest Christmas gift you have ever given to someone?
Birdland Yoga | Saturday, December 20, 2008 |
I think it would be the gift I gave this year. My landlords and friends (a married couple I have all but officially adopted as my parents) were pulled out of town for two back-to-back family emergencies. I volunteered to hold down the fort...THEIR fort, that is, until they could return home.
So, for the last two weeks, I took care of their pets, plants, pool, grounds keeping, and made many treks to the nursing home to sing Christmas carols with their aged mother (doing her laundry, having breakfast with her, etc.).
Last night, they were returning home. Knowing how much they love Xmas, and how tired they'd be after days of driving cross country, I decked the halls with Christmas decorations and lights, left them dinner in the frig, bath salts in the bathroom, and even chocolates on their dresser, so that when they returned home, they returned to a cleaned and decorated "5-star hotel".
I helped them carry their bags inside, and when they heard the Xmas music I had looped on the stereo, surrounded by a fully decorated living room, tears started streaming, and they said, "We thought we were going to miss Christmas this year!" And gave me a big hug.
I hadn't really thought what I was doing was more than a nice gesture; but they were overwhelmed. :)
~Danielle
Jerry Jordan | Tuesday, December 23, 2008 |
Very thoughtful and generous of you, Danielle. Sounds like you received your gift immediately.
Jeff Jordan | Monday, January 05, 2009 |
This could be a greatest given, received or both--I'll let each individual decide for themself.
While working on my Masters in music composition at the University of Kansas back in the early 80's, I studied with Dr. John Pozdro. John was one of the finest teachers I ever had with a wonderful gift of turning any lesson into a great learning experience (no matter how bad the piece you brought in might be). He didn't embody the classic traits of a master teacher by any means: he could be moody, highly opinionated and subject to going off on tangents. It didn't matter. I never had a bad lesson with John. In fact, I never had anything other than a great lesson with John.
Years later, I composed a piece for my high school band entitled "Tharsos," the Greek word for courage, and dedicated it to John. When it was published, I visited him and gave him a copy of the score. About a year later, the piece was performed by one of the KU bands and John was there. His compliments on the work were, of course, very meaningful to me.
Just about a month ago, I was guest conducting and honor band in the Kansas City area and had programmed Tharsos for the concert. Before we began playing, I took a few moments to tell the band about John and why I dedicated it to him. Almost immediately, a hand went up in the horn section and a young lady pointed to a young man in the trumpet section and said, "that's our Grandfather!" I probably needn't say how special that day and the concluding concert were.
This morning, I received a e-mail telling me that John Pozdro passed away on New Year's day. Rest in peace, John. Your gifts to me remain incalcuable. I am thankful that I was able to return to a small token of that gratitude to you and your grandchildren.
Jerry Jordan | Monday, January 05, 2009 |
Thanks for sharing that great story. It's the unexpected gifts that surprise and amaze us the most. We think we're giving and we're actually receiving. I can only imagine the impact that this will have the next time you play that piece. Rest in peace, John.